Better Orgasm for Women (2)

When you have an orgasm it feels like an internal throbbing. The intensity varies widely. It can be fierce and wild, it may be quiet and sensuous. The common denominator is it certainly should feel pleasurable.

Some women learn how to masturbate, perhaps as teenagers, but find they are unable to reach a climax with their partner, even if he stimulates them in a similar way.

The most likely cause of this is a variation on the inhibited feelings mentioned before. Their sub-conscious will not let them admit to anyone else that they are enjoying sex.

Sharing regular sessions of all-over massage can help a couple start communicating physically and sexually. Use a little cream or oil, massage and stroke one another all over. Say what feels good and what not-so-good.

When the time feels right, you can begin showing one another how to give the most pleasure by stroking and massaging the sexual areas, too. The only rule is that you should both enjoy it.

Modern-style vibrators designed especially to suit women's sexual responses can make a terrific difference.

Tingletip is a tiny but powerful vibrator for clitoral stimulation only, designed to fit on the head of an electric toothbrush – so great for travelling (www.tingletip.com).

The Vielle range (www.vielle.co.uk), which includes a non-electrical clitoral stimulator, lubricant and stimulating gel, is widely available in pharmacies and Boots.

Some women can climax when masturbating or when stimulated in some similar way by their partner, but cannot reach orgasm during intercourse.

In fact, this is normal, as only a minority of women do climax during intercourse. Most reach orgasm through other stimulation. to be continued